Creating your own makeup palette—this has to be everyone’s dream, right? No? Are you telling me you haven’t spent hours you will never get back thinking about exactly the right shade of nude to place next to exactly the right shade of pink? Or what the cutoff point is for ‘too much’ glitter?
In case you hadn’t guessed, I have a fairly high threshold for the latter. If I were to create my own palette, though, I would hold back. Don’t worry, Kittens.
When I heard that Gigi Hadid was collaborating with Maybelline on a special collection my brain quickly ran through a series of thoughts. 1 – Why her? She has probably fulfilled the dreams of many a girl who spent their teens wanting to sleep with a member of One Direction. So there’s the celebrity obsession factor. Okay, I can see the marketing sense. 2 – Why not me? I have NOT fulfilled any girl’s dreams through anyone I’ve slept with, TRUST ME. I am always open to this though. Sticking to the theme, Harry Styles, call me! I am also not a supermodel but I’m sure this has nothing to do with it … 3 – What can we expect? Gigi Hadid sports a pretty natural look. Will it be nudes? Will it rival my beloved Urban Decay Naked 2 palette? It could be amazing! This could be the palette to end all palettes! This could be …
Um … what now? Is this, like, a children’s version? Are these supposed to be colors??? The contents are 2 concealers (suitable for people up to a medium skin tone, maybe), 2 lip balms (seriously?), 4 shadows (for when your eyes need to yawn), a matte (orangey) bronzer, a blush for the 3 people in the world who look great in pure orange / peach and a weird shade of highlighter (best I can say about it). The mascara is a nice touch so, there’s that.
Was this seriously the best she could do? “Well, Catty Cosmetician, maybe she has a personal love of the color peach and this is what a peach palette naturally has to look like.”
You think? I call BULLPOOP on that! Behold the famous Too Faced ‘Just Peachy Mattes’ collection.
“But Catty Cosmetician, these are just eye shadows. Gigi thought about everything!” Wow, you Kittens just won’t give me a break, will you? Let me explain. When I look at the Hadid collection these are the words that come to mind—watery, bland, oatmeal, insipid, blah. Are you following? Then you have the Too Faced, inspired by the same base shade, and yet the words I think of are VIBRANT! PUNCHY! IMPACT! Even the basic ‘Peaches and Cream’ and ‘Peach Butter’ are beautiful in all of their basic glory. There is not one color I can say that about in the entire Hadid palette. It’s just so … unnecessary.
Oh well, she has nothing to worry about. I heard that the palette sold out on Ulta in the U.K. Maybe people see something I don’t, or maybe they are blinded by her celebrity. All I know is that every one of my imaginary palettes was a darn sight better than this!
From now on, when something is a failure I shall call it a Hadid. E.G. “That story I wrote was a complete Hadid.”
Hadid Palette Target Market?
Until next time, MEOW!